The Ways Porn Has Ruined Our Lives

First off I would like to thank porn for all the amazing things its done for the male population & if you’re a female porn lover, you as well. As great as it is, it’s ruined our lives in so many ways. The porn world is a completely different animal from the real world. From never reaching expectations to giving all delivery boys major let downs whenever a Blonde chick opens the door, here’s how porn has ruined our lives

1. Delivery boy isn’t the best job in the world

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A very common themed porno. A dude goes to a house, rings the doorbell & the hottest chick ever shows up with her tits out. Coming from somebody who once delivered pizza, this never was a situation I was placed in. In porn the girl offers a blowjob in exchange for the pizza. In real life, that’s never the case & if getting a blowjob isn’t the best tip in the world I don’t know what is.

2. Neither is being a labor worker

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If delivering pizza let you down, how about the construction workers & plumbers out there. You never are going to repair Nikki Benz’s sink & toilet. It’s always musty Lexi from 38th street whose house you’re going to. Guys join the union and within minutes realize that the only tits they’ll see is when Mike’s fat ass is leaning over his tool kit

3. It’s never how it is in the videos

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One of the most impressive things you can watch in any genre of entertainment is the blowjobs some of these dudes get. I mean you want to talk about the Ninth wonder of the world, look no further than Angelina Valentines head game. These dudes just sit there for 25 minutes getting absolutely engulfed and they’re still solid as a rock. First of all no girl is ever gonna blow your mind like that and getting s blowjob like that no shot it’s more than 45 seconds for the average non porn star out there.

4. Girls are left disappointed

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It’s been said that the average penis length is somewhere in the 4-5 inch range. You would never believe that if you watched some of these pornos. This might not be the straightest thing you’ll ever read but these dudes are the definition of hung. Some of them flaccid are bigger than us at full erect. Girls unzip every Jean thinking they’re going to see a giant and often are disappointed. Also these dudes in the videos are going 100 mph for 45 minutes and putting you in positions you didn’t know we’re possible. Don’t be afraid fellas, once it’s out they’ll know what to do with it regardless of size, they all know!

5. Guys are left disappointed

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Ladies aren’t the only one, gentleman we are left disappointed as well. The way some of these porn stars do their thing is great, but no girl is gonna shoulder grab you like Rachel Starr as she’s riding you, nobody begs for you to finish on them & no girl enjoys anal like they do. All those things we fantasize but never experience, if you do, she’s a bona-fide keeper!

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